what do you really want?

seems to be the big @s$ question hanging over my head. presented with the option of studio managing full time for an amazing fashion photographer or studio assisting part time for an amazing wedding photographer, which do i choose? as a member of society i fancy appraisal and titles. i could say "i'm a Studio Manager working with such and such and aren't i super cool?" or "i'm a happy little assistant who's learning the business of it all with time to focus on my own personal endeavours". at the end of the day i'm an artist and i crave freedom. i want financial security but i also want time to create for myself. so...what it is??? life is really quite simply yet here i am complicating things....tidbits to smile back on down the line :)

happy love day ♥

love is easy. living together is the hard part. me and the hubs have our highs and lows but that's what growth is about. i love me a challenge and easy is straight boring. our generation suffers from IGS: Instant Gratification Syndrome. we fail to practice patience and endurance. "i'll straight up upgrade and trade you in if you don't get it together". ok sure but how long before that one needs to be traded in...again? i want to throw myself off the 3rd story window at times. living with another person, a different person, with different habits is challenging but i know i need to practice patience, understanding, and tolerance as does the rest of the world. all we really need is love. thank you boo boo for being as crazy as your wife. you're worth the drama :)

the past revisited

my life is one funny entertaining dramedy! i went into my cocktailing job to have a "meeting" and to quit as declared per my previous entry, but they got there's before i could get mine. i was fired! oh the madness of it all. i had a conversation with the universe about moving forward with the arts in the new year but i didn't anticipate things playing out as they did. i had episode 7 of my fav show Summer Heights High where Mr. G resigns playing in my head. so i thought i'd share:




catharsis at it's best! on the bright side, it looks like i may have other opportunities poppin' up elsewhere. i'll wait till they're more concrete before declaring them but it involves more work in the photo world :) as such, i'm in the process of updating my portfolio and perused through my old stuff and played around. looks like my new book will include timeless shots from the past reworked :) scroll over image to see the before:

2 posts, 1 week?! love it!

call it quits and move on

quitting isn't a bad thing. i've been a firm believer in seeing things through however calling it quits can save you time, energy, and frustration. it's important to evaluate what you're doing and to what end. i bring this up as i've called it quits with my annoyingly painful job as a cocktail girl. yes! a load has been lifted! it's amazing how this cosmic world works. i find myself thinking...ok. what's next? what do i want. and i'm finally putting it out there and i really want to create work that speaks to millions. more specifically i want to and will be creating films. good thing for me i've been having a go with these cyber competitions. and it helps that i have photography and acting in my back pocket. i am still very passionate about my love for the two and now filming can bridge the two loves i've kept separate for so long. very excited about this public declaration!
and to catch ya'll up to speed i've started my job at the studio and it's going great! i'm still in training and i'm actually exploring all aspects of work there to make sure whatever position i take is the right fit. i was hired with the intention of studio managing but with all my expertise and background there might be a better fit. i have no idea yet as this is my first job at a studio so i'm just excited to be inspired.
speaking of inspiration..i found this amazingly rad director/writer who is responsible for the genius that is Yelling to the Sky, Victoria Mahoney. immediately after watching the trailer i imdb'd her and read about her amazing journey. it gives me that extra nudge to follow my gut. being in the pj's, a new city, no friends, starting from scratch, hustlin'...it can get dim but then i find rays of hope and she's one of them.


so imma go eat now then get back to the steady hustle that is new york :)