that's scary

this is a beautiful way to live life.
i'm slowly but surly getting through my fears and that's thanks to facing them head on. and once you tackle them you realize it's not so bad. keep at it and eventually it becomes a thing of the past.
even though i kick myself for doing this 365 day shameless challenge i realize this is a blessing. i can't wait till this "shame" becomes "less" and yesterdays news. thanks for tuning in and supporting ya'll! it really mean a lot! THANK YOU!!!

Simply Happy

The road to happiness is a simple one.  Do what makes you happy. If you enjoy biking, bike. If you enjoy singing sing. We must find happiness from within and stop expecting and/or demanding it from others.  It’s not your girlfriend, boyfriend, husband, wife, mom, dad or besties fault for your unhappiness. Take responsibility.  Keep in mind however, that you are not responsible for another's happiness. As much as we want to please others, if they're unhappy it is not your responsibility to make them happy. I'm not saying you should be insensitive, but know that despite your efforts of trying to "save" someone, only they can.

Act on the things within your control. If no one wants to go to the movies with you then go by yourself. If your boyfriend didn’t buy you a Christmas present, that’s wack and you should probably tell him how much you’d appreciate a gift, then move on. You hate your job? Before you quit try changing your perspective and how you interact with others. Whenever those tendencies to criticize someone else creep in, redirect and focus on YOU and what you need to do to reach your goals. And since I’m on the topic, create goals! Doable goals, then work towards them and accomplish them.  Progress and accomplishment, for me at least, makes me happy. Not achieving my goals make me feel inferior, inadequate, and lame. Start setting small goals building your confidence so you can later on achieve bigger goals. Life and happiness isn’t complicated yet we, myself included, make it out to be.
SIMPLIFY your life! Try not to analysis, assume, judge, criticize...these are all signs that you’re not taking responsibility and are in fact blaming someone else for your unhappiness. And in the same token you're not responsible for someone else's unhappiness so stop blaming yourself if you are. We all go through highs and lows. But it's important to act responsibly and not dish out our emotions on others.
Do that which makes you happy! Simple :)

Speaking of misery, I dragged myself to the beach on Monday spreading my pink eyes with the world. I had to escape the confines of my apartment and have some happy time.

taking photos on instagram make me happy :)

relaxing doing nothing on a beach feels odd...i can never sit still so this was a good change...notice how i'm still taking pictures, doing something :)

hanging out with cool peeps makes me happy :)

i'm happy to say my pink eyes are gone too.

diy denim pt.1of2

in a world where everything is a 1or 0 and i'm glued to a computer screen, i realized i had to go back to my roots and create with my hands using my lovely swing machine. and what better time than now with this lovely spring weather :) i bought a pair of acid wash jeans thinking i could convert them into cute shorts but they're too big! i'm still gonna see if i can make it happen but if not i'm turning those bad boys into pillow cases! but back to the cute short...
studded shorts are all the rage these days

i'm digging the fabric and that jumbo stitch!

to see what's available i headed to the fabric district. first stop, the amazing M&J Trimmings:

endless possibilities!

here's what i'm working with...geek chic with a tres loose crotch

i'll be able to transform these suckas this weekend with a full diy post on either pillow cases or revamped shorts or both :)

know thy self

self discovery is kinda like a home improvement job. once you start breaking away the drywall you realize there's more repair that needs to be done. but at least you caught it and are making the necessary repairs. the alternative? avoiding yourself...see how long that lasts. something that started as a mere crack ends up being a foundation problem if unattended. next thing you know you whined up on meds and a straight jacket. you get where i'm going with this.

the journey to self discovery should be a never ending one. if the world is in fact a scary and hopeless place then we must change ourselves and our view. i'm always shocked how little people know about themselves or care to discover about themselves. and if they do know themselves, their stubbornness, their temper tantrums, they rest on the whole "this is who i am"...build a bridge and get over it! you are not your name, your body, or your experiences. we are all beings capable of positive change and creation.

i'm all about the books in the "self improvement" aisle...actually too much, which is why i took a break and got into the Hunger Games series. i'm obsessed!!! well i finished the first 2 books and was looking around my apartment for the 3rd book Mockingjay but instead found Nonviolent Communication (NVC), A Language of Life...side-by-side these books are so random, but essentially they're both on the journey of self discovery and awareness. I just started NVC and it couldn't be at a better time. i had bought the book last summer and attempted to read it but lost interest real quick. this time around i'm intrigued. The author Marshall Rosenberg asks two questions:
1) what happens to disconnect us for our compassionate nature, leading us to behave violently and exploitatively?
2) what allows some people to stay connected to their compassionate nature under even the most trying circumstances?

i've actually been asking the latter question as of late, which is another reason i'm drawn to this book. i've been making a sad attempt to stop complaining or say anything negative but i realize i need help. imagine...living a life where you look at everything optimistically, positively, happily. may sound odd but it's something for me to strive towards. and i've always loved a good challenge :)
we are complicated beings and as such we must avoid the temptation to look to change others and instead change ourselves.

"we become the change we wish to see in the world"-Ghandi

get out of your own way

the only person standing between you and your goal is you.
today i had a LONG chat with my celebrity friend Andrea Lewis and she opened my eyes on how we get in our own way. i admire people who rarely think and just do. you can criticize all you want but at the end of the day that person is doing it while you and i are sitting here getting caught up in our own unproductive thoughts, running around in circles like a dang Schizophrenic. for the past 5 or so years i have torn myself between my talents. i can't choose nor would want to but here i am still trying to. i would never feel comfortable living the life of 1 title...just a photographer, just an actor, just a director, nor would i feel comfortable trying to chop off one of my hands but here i am trying to do just that. i guess when we get older we're told to settle down...get married, have kids, secure a steady job, stop living for you, live vicariously through our children and/or entertainment, settle for the common denominator, UGH! responsibility, growing up, love, family, society, or better yet, YOU, should never stop YOU from living, expressing, experiencing, dreaming, creating.
this mental torment is of course self inflicted and has gone on for long enough. you can live happily and freely through discipline, focus, optimism, confidence and all that other fun stuff.
GET OUT OF YOUR OWN WAY! CELEBRATE YOUR STRENGTHS! THINK POSITIVELY, IN FACT THINK LESS, DO MORE, LIVE YOUR OWN UNIQUE AND CREATIVE LIFE!
i pray i do just that and finally kick my life into 3rd gear :)